Thursday, March 8, 2012
Good Guys Finish Sooner Than They'd Like on American Idol
But that was all just my wishful thinking that we would somehow go from 13 to 10 in one week, thereby cutting this show down by two eps. It was crazy of me, cause if anything, they would be more likely to somehow draw the thing out even longer, if they only could.
Anyway, so tonight we have to get through an hour long elimination show. Why will they never understand that the elimination show could last about 15 mins? They could just tack it on the beginning of the next week's show. Even then it would have more time then they really need to just boot someone off the stage. I seriously think more people would watch this show if it didn't take up a million of our life hours every week. Our lives only have so many hours.
I read a bunch of reviews today and I seriously want to know am I the only person who thinks that Jessica was not that great last night? That song was just a complete, note for note re-boot of Whitney. How many times have they told them not to do that, that they either have to make the song their own, or be better than the original if they want to just copy it? It seems they clearly want a girl winner this year, even if they did stack the deck with guys, and she's the chosen one. Although it didn't work last year with that nasty little country chick whose name I cannot recall and hope to never hear again.
I wish I could fast forward through tonight, but it's not to be. First up, there's a big group sing and I realize that I cannot understand one word anyone is saying. Also, each and every one of them sounds bad. What was that? Were they all singing from underwater somewhere? How can everyone in the audience like that? Oh, I get it, they are pumping some sort of drug into the air there, aren't they? It keeps everyone in the audience all compliant and excited about nothing and makes them sway in the front like robots. And it makes the judges even more stupid.
The Ford video song is Peter Gabriel's Big Time, which shows someone's good taste in music anyway. Then Jimmy Iovine tells us how hard it is for these kids to sing songs by Whitney and Stevie. Oh, really?
Jessica Sanchez, Elise Testone and Hollie Cavanagh are up for elimination first and after the nationwide vote, Jessica and Hollie are safe and Elise is in the B3 of girls. Wow, what a revelation this show is turning out to be tonight.
Now we have Heejun Han, Jermaine Jones and Colton Dixon. If only Jermaine was Heejun, why Ryan asked him if he agreed with Jimmy, he would have said, no Ryan, I'm sure Armani does make suits this big. But as we all know, Jermaine is no Heejun. Anyway, Colton and Heejun are safe and Jermaine is in the guy's B3.
OMG! NO! Lauren Alaina. I had completely blocked out her name and here she is! Why? Idol, why would you do this to me? Wasn't I tortured enough last year? I see she hasn't improved, she's still too full of herself and still utterly lacking in any actual talent. If I can't fast forward, at least I have my friend the mute button. MUTED! Wait, did she just lose her ear piece and then hit herself in the face with the cord? Maybe it was worth seeing her again this year after all.
Back to eliminating. We have Erika Van Pelt, Shannon Magrane and Skylar Laine. Can I just save us all a lot of time and put Shannon in the girls B3 and then send her home? Although Erika was one of the people who was a judge's pick so maybe America just doesn't like her that much. Ah, so Skylar is safe and Shannon and Erika are joining Elise in the girls B3.
The final four guys, DeAndre Brackensick, Phillip Phillips, Joshua Ledet and Jeremy Rosado, are last to be reviewed and two will be sent to the B3 stools. I'm guessing Jeremy and DeAndre, cause they were both judge's picks and not voted into this thing by America. Also, Phillip is the WGWG and Joshua is just too good to go home yet. Ooh, there's a twist, Joshua is in the B3 and not DeAndre. That's interesting.
OK, in a fake out move, Ryan just sent Erika and Joshua from the stools of doom back to the couches of safety. Yay! So we are going to love either Shannon, Elise, Jeremy or Jermaine. I'm OK with that.
Can't say I'm a Mary J. Blige fan or that I'd ever really heard anything she did before right now, but that didn't suck. This is why she makes a good mentor, she has some actual talent. (Plus, she sings with her eyes closed and I once had a choir coach tell us that as soloists we should be looking at the audience while singing, cause you wouldn't talk to someone with your eyes closed, and when you do it while singing it looks silly. Personally, I always think of it as a way of showing a connection to what you're singing. And clearly MJB agrees.)
With only 7 minutes left in this show, we will finally see who is leaving. Well, first we will see who got the least number of votes for the girls and for the guys and then we will see who the judges are going to send packing. Please tell me no one has to sing again. Please.
Jermaine is safe, so it definitely looks like Jeremy may be going home, since so far both Jimmy and Steven Tyler said he deserves to go. Sadly, Shannon is safe and Elise is not. That's pretty unfair, cause if anyone needs to have gone home it was Shannon. Elise and Jeremy weren't great, but they were better than Shannon. To be honest, she lost my vote way before singing last night. I think it was right around the time she started whining about how hard her life is when she's a tall, beautiful, young, thin blond girl who grew up in an upper middle class home with an MVP as a dad. Yes, sweetie, I feel sorry for you.
Ryan says the judges deliberated over the break and then asks Jennifer to let us all know who they decided needs to go home. She chooses to phrase it thus, "we're going to save Elise." She could not bring herself to say "we are letting Jeremy go" when she just saved him a week ago.
Ah, well, Jeremy, you were too kind and decent for this show. Plus, you mumbled too much.