Heavy Metal Idol?

I finally figured out why American Idol has no exciting weekly guest mentors this year. I did stop to consider that most reputable artists just refused to have their names sullied, but then I realized that they never really dealt with people who had too much credibility to begin with.  In any case, I solved this mystery when I came to the conclusion that they've been blowing their budget on whatever drugs they're slipping into Steven Tyler's Coke cup.

Seriously, what happened to him? Before the live shows, he actually gave interesting and on spot critiques. Since the live shows, he's basically just been acting like one of those trained seals; you know, the ones who clap their flippers together and then someone throws them a fish.

I'd like it to stop, please.

On to the singing.

Paul McDonald: Old Time Rock and Roll, Bob Seeger - Maybe Paul should have taken the advice about wearing his underwear and sliding in onto the stage. Cause, that suit, it was just wrong. Seriously, seriously wrong.  I didn't think he was bad vocally, but he was totally upstaged by the sax player and his dancing is sorta distracting.  He was high energy though and it looked like he was having fun. I think he may be safe after that.

Lauren Alaina: The Climb, Miley Cyrus - She says "I picked this song because it's about a young girl struggling to reach her dreams by a young girl with a country twang like me and I think I can do a better job." Or at least that's what she meant. The only worrisome part for Ms. Alaina is that they put her in the second place forgettable spot. At least this song is more age appropriate for her and you can't fault her vocals, they are always adequate and enthused. I just don't like her.

I kept an Excel spreadsheet one year, marking out where each person sang and when they were cut from the competition.  Statistically, people who sing in the first half, but after first place, were more likely to be voted off that particular week, with second and third place being the worst spots. Until the final three when the first place person is usually the one to go. I don't have that info anymore, so I can't prove it. But I remember it.

Also, JLo? It's not stealing votes if Pia is no longer competing.

Stefano Langone: End of the Road, Boyz II Men - He should have been singing like this all along. Sure, he got lost behind all the background singers once or twice, but he definitely had his moment there. Maybe boy band is his métier and he should stick with it from this point forward. He's probably gonna milk another week out of that performance.

Scotty McCreery: I Cross My Heart, George Strait - So Scotty picked the country song over the not so country song, which he somehow still managed to make sound like a country song. He was better last week, even if it was more hokey. This was just boring. I don't say he's gonna get voted off or anything, but that wasn't his best for sure.

Casey Abrams: Nature Boy, Nat King Cole - Casey really cleaned up his hair and beard this week. Wow, he looks so much better.  And, wow, Jimmy, way to throw Casey under the bus. But, fortunately for  him, Jimmy was wrong, cause that was really great.  Casey is cool and he had a moment there. He's almost making me want to vote for him.

Haley Reinhart: Call Me, Blondie - This song is my ring tone. I also work out to it. I like it. So I may be a little biased. I thought Haley did a mostly good job and she kept the growling to a minimum, but she missed a couple of spots where she could have really hit it and she didn't. Haley is adorable and if more guys were voting, she might actually stay in this thing until Top  5. But I don't think that's gonna happen.

Jacob Lusk: Bridge Over Troubled Water, Simon & Garfunkel - Every week when I start my review, I type all the names in and every week, there's always at least one person who I can't remember. This week, it was Jacob.  Maybe I just blocked him out because I was too busy looking in the mirror. Whatever. I was glad to hear Jimmy slap him around for that, but then I immediately felt bad, cause he's just a kid and he probably didn't mean it the way it sounded. That was a solid gospel sounding performance from Jacob and the ending was just spot on. I'd like to think that makes him safe, but I'm not so sure. It may be too little, too late.

James Durbin: Heavy Metal, Sammy Hagar - It makes me a little unhappy to think that this annoying Adam Lambert wannabe is probably gonna make it to the Top 3. He's not only annoying, he's smug and he thinks he's better than he is. Look, I'm a Sammy Hagar fan, but I wasn't impressed with that screaming mess. That guitar player was amazing, can I vote for him?

Being honest, the girls were truly the weakest tonight. But I can't really decide who else should be in the B3, cause if it was my call it would be Scotty or James, but I think they are both way too popular. So it will probably going to be Jacob or Stefano. Maybe Paul.

OK, I have no idea.